Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
