The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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