did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
