he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
