If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
