The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
