Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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