Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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