Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
