my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize