Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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