Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
