God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
