dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
