So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
