I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
