Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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