I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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