Buhtt sex?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
there is glitter all over my balls
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize