sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
