if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
