she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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