Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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