we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
