We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
