Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
