Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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