Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
