ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize