mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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