Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
