Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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