I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
