i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he laminated a picture of his dick.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Then you guys just all showered together...?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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