I cannot find my penis.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize