...so i touched it.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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