literally had 100 drinks last night.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
