There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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