dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
