I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
