so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We had sex on a dog bed..
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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