his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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