If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
