you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
