dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
