We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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