Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
