She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
