FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
