Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Small penises have feelings too.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
