Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
