he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
