Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
