First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
