found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize