did you get engaged???
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
