hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
