return my video game
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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