I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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