Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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