I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
