take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize